Stop Overthinking

If there was a message my present self had to give to my future self it would be to stop overthinking. It’s funny, Monday night, I met up with a friend. She looked at me with eyes of admiration. “How do you do it?” she asked me, “How do you find so much peace in the unknown?”. Looking back I thought this was funny because there have been so many times where like every other human being I am pulling my brains out of my head (literally) trying to dictate exactly what is going to happen tomorrow with who, and what I think is going to happen so that I can have some sort of predictable future. Being comfortable in the unknown is still a skill that I am getting used to being good at. I think every day I get a little bit better, but still there is always a voice in my head that wants to pull me down into the unbearable crashing waves of certainty (which is fake too). The reality is and what I have to keep reminding myself is that, our days will always be in someway unpredictable. The predictability is an illusion and to be honest I would rather live my life as an artist searching for meaning in my work then at a corporation where my soul is dying. I tried that and though the weekly paycheck was great, I felt that my sense of self was leaving me. Maybe Im being overdramatic. For some people this life is good, for me it wasn't . Anyways, where was I going with this? Ah. Yes. Overthinking. Can you tell I have ADHD HA! I am a chronic over thinker. I overthink everything, like literally everything. Tell me the sky is blue and I will start thinking about if the sky is actually blue and why you just told me that and how we can get from point A to point B and what the equidistance is between myself and the sky. Literally people have no idea, and while the overthinking is fun in some contexts it’s not so fun in others. When it comes to applications my brain goes into overthinking mode about what it is it needs to say to get in. THE REALITY IS THOUGH! We just dont know, so you have to just do it and you will be guided in the right direction. And I suppose that is why I am writing this post right now. It is because you gotta just do it, WHO CARES if you get in or if you dont get in. At least you did the work, you put your effort in and thats all that matters. So Fatimah and to anyone else who is out there like me, I say with care and respect GET UPPP, you can do it. I believe in you (say that to yourself right now). I believe in me. Ok great. You can do it, and ultimately if it doesn’t go the way you want it to at least you can say that you tried and did. The right opportunity will come, dont you worry about it.